The Wonderful World of Linus Bailey

by Peter James Lamb

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40,800 words
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Linus Bailey's tenth birthday, if measured on some kind of “So how did it go then?” scale, would score a one. Maybe a bit less. It started well, but then things went very badly indeed.

Linus' problem is that he makes things up. He claims, for instance, that his mother was found living as a head hunter in the jungles of Borneo. His dad, a man called Nigel who Linus hasn't seen since he was two, is a Ninja Warrior currently living in Japan. His dad fights crime and saves people. Linus' headmaster is evil and his jumper was knitted by slaves.

Linus has reached a turning point in his young life. On the eve of his birthday he is asked to tell the class which family member he admires the most. Having been told not to tell the class that his father is a ninja, and worried that his mother (a woman who's cooking won a Nobel Peace Prize) and his wheelchair-bound sister (despite having the biggest wheels of anyone he knew) would be too dull as objects of his admiration, he invents an uncle who owns the left hand side of the mighty Amazon river. This gets him into trouble.

As his birthday looms large on the horizon, Linus' invented reality begins to encroach upon his humdrum life. Coal miners in the garden, a camel, a Norwegian Viking hat salesman, these things are a prelude to the evil he unleashes in the form of The Evil Lord of Mortar and his band of giant mutant squirrel henchmen. The lives of Linus and those he loves hang in the balance, and only one person can save them. A ninja warrior from Yorkshire called Nigel Bailey, Linus' long-lost dad.

Story Elements

Ratings Factors

Language: No profanity or censor words
Sexual Content: No sexual acts implied or described
Target Audience Age/Stage of Life: Everyone (no target age)
Violence: Death, but minimal violence


Geography: Earth
Realism: World is similar to ours, but plot elements involve fantasy or magic
Setting Type: Pastoral (rural & small towns)
Time Period: 2010 - 2019

Main Character

Age: Child
Gender: Male
Race: Caucasian European
Religion: Irrelevant
Sexual Preference: Irrelevant or N/A

Styles & Themes

Humor: Humor throughout
Inspires Reader to Feel: N/A or None of the above
Mysteries & Puzzles: None or only very minor mysteries
Pacing: Moves quickly
Physical Action: Frequent action, driven by threat to safety or life by antagonist(s)
Political/Social Commentary: Politics irrelevant to story
Romance: No romantic elements
Genre Fantasy
  • World is similar to ours, but plot elements include magic
  • Fantasy world with low or no magic
  • Fantasy world where magic is prevalent
Setting Type:
  • Fantasy
Time Period:
  • N/A (Fantasy Setting)


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About the author

Peter James Lamb

I have been a medical illustrator for most of my working life, but became a published writer in 2001 after selling tales of living on a Greek island. I left the UK in 1999, moving to the Greek Island of Corfu and then to rural France before moving to America. I now live in the Slovenian Alps. I have written extensively about being an ex-pat, but prefer fiction. I experimented with Amazon as a platform for self-publishing by creating a short science-fiction story called Like Minded. I followed that with a longer, novella-length YA/Crossover story called The Wonderful World of Linus Bailey, and then a full novel for adults, The Midlife of Dudley Chalk. Further experimentation resulted in an audio version of The Wonderful World of Linus Bailey, hosted on, which achieved over 13,000 downloads in the first 12 months. I then produced a more polished audio version for My next novel will be available in 2014.